Bruce Pees Pants in Public & Becomes New Depends Spokesman

Bruce Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi shared a photo of themselves enjoying an ice cream cone together in New Jersey. The seemingly wholesome moment turned dark quickly when it was pointed out that Springsteen apparently peed his pants.

Bon Jovi was the one who outed The Boss. Jon immediately captioned the photo with a snarky joke. “I bought an ice cream cone for this elderly man that peed his pants” wrote Bon Jovi. This started a flood of jokes and ridicule to rain down on Bruce’s head.

European

Fans and trolls alike roasted Bruce good. Steve Matoran posted “Hey Bruce looks like Urine joying that ice cream.” Twyla Moore shared, “Bruce on a scale of 1 to 10, urinate.” Michael Telesca tweeted, “You may have been born in the USA but now European”.

Springsteen tried to explain that he did not completely pee his pants. It was just some left over dribble. “I dribble more than Lebron James” laughed Bruce. “You know when you get to a certain age you start falling apart. My prostate is the size of a pineapple. I am up nine times a night to use the bathroom. Patti told me I should write a sequel to The River. I should call it The Yellow River by I.P Daily. She’s a regular riot that Patti.”

Depends

The good news is that the CEO of the Depends brand of adult diapers, saw the photo and immediately called Bruce. “We worked out a deal” said Bruce. “He made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. He’s paying me millions to wear adult diapers, I will take it. They want to use Born to Run in the commercial or maybe I will write a new song, we will see. Now if anyone asks me Boxers or Briefs, I will just smile and say, “Depends”.

“Only Bruce could pee his pants in public and come out smelling like a rose” said Bon Jovi. “He is like even Steven. I try to embarrass him after he pees his pants and he ends up making millions out of the deal.”