Brian Jones Final Interview

We once again rummaged through our dusty archives and found a real gem. This never before seen or heard interview with Brian Jones was found underneath a stack of old Monkees trading cards and nude pygmy magazines. 

This interview, conducted by renowned rock journalist Claude Balzac, was recorded at Jones’ house on July 2, 1969. This was Brian Jones final interview, as he died a few hours later. 

Madhouse Magazine: Hi Brian thanks for talking with us today.

Brian Jones: Thank You. I Love Madhouse. I sit around with me birds reading stories to them all the time. They always get in the mood after laughing so hard. So I should be thanking you. Madhouse has gotten me laid many times. Especially Anita, she couldn’t get enough of Madhouse. 

Madhouse: Glad we could be of assistance. You seem to have always done well with the ladies or birds as you call them.

Brian Jones: Yes I have never had any problems with that. I was a father at age 13. I impregnated my nanny. She was a big legged german woman with a dutch accent. I hear that I have fathered over 37 children with 24,000 women over the years. 

Madhouse: Father’s Day must be busy around here?

Brian Jones: [laughs] oh yes it is quite busy. I have to schedule appointments, but that’s what happens when you don’t believe in birth control. I go bareback all the time. Que sera sera. 

Madhouse: Were you upset that Anita Pallenberg left you and started a relationship with Keith?

Brian Jones: He can have her. She was a witch. I mean an actual witch, she was into black magic, the occult and once when she was mad at me, she put a spell on me and I got explosive diarrhea. I couldn’t get off the toilet for 2 days until she took the spell off. Good riddance. 

Madhouse: So what have you been up to lately?

Brian Jones: Well I am sure you heard that I am no longer with the Rolling Stones? 

Madhouse: Yes we heard. What happened with that?

Brian Jones: Well it all started when we recorded a commercial for Rice Krispies back in 1963. I got the writing credit for that and I made more money off of that one 30 second commercial than I did being in The Rolling Stones all these years. Plus Mick & Keith were jealous that I am much better looking and get all the birds. 

Madhouse: So is there any animosity concerning the parting of ways with the band?

Brian Jones: No we are all still good mates, but that new guy they got in the band, the guy with the hair, Mick Taylor, he will quit. I know Taylor and he will not put up with their nonsense. The band is basically done without me. They may last another year, two at the most. Mark my words, you will forget all about The Rolling Stones in 2 years. They will never be heard from again. 

Madhouse: So tell us about your new musical projects?

Brian Jones: Oh you are going to love this. I am forming a new band with Yoko Ono, John Lennon, Mitch Mitchell and Jack Bruce, maybe even Clapton. I think I may also join The Beatles. It is going to be special. Here is Yoko now. 

[At this point, Yoko walks in and interrupts the interview]

Brian Jones: Hi Yoko, this is Madhouse Magazine, I am doing an interview with them. Sit down and join us. 

Yoko: Yes i know, I have been waiting. I know all about Madhouse, they make fun of me. You go now, you here 4 hour. Come Brian, we go swim. 

Brian Jones: Ok let me finish up the interview and then we will go swimming. 

Madhouse: What are your memories of The Monterey Pop Festival

Brian Jones: Yes that was a beautiful time. I love California, I became friends with Frank Zappa, Dennis Hopper, Jimi Hendrix and all the California hippies. I got really stoned and ended up in the hot tub with Mama Cass and Michelle Phillips. I am not sure what happened but I couldn’t walk for 2 days after that. Good times. 

Madhouse: Ok Brian, Yoko seems to be getting angry and is glaring at me, I will let you go now, Good luck with all your future endeavors. Be careful with that Yoko. Something about her I don’t trust. 

Brian Jones: Thanks mate, we are off to go swimming now. I love swimming. Come on Yoko.

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