Bon Jovi Running Underground Hair Salon For 80s Hair Emergencies
An unnamed source has confirmed that NJ hair rocker, Bon Jovi, is running an unsanctioned, underground hair salon.
As part of the recent state lockdown, all hair salons were ordered to close by Bon Jovi’s good friend and NJ Governor, Phil Murphy. Bon Jovi allegedly converted the dining room in his ‘Soul Kitchen’ restaurant into a full service salon.
“I saw people in need and I had to help” said Bon Jovi. “Me and my fans, our entire identity is our hair. That’s all we got. Did you actually ever listen to my music? It is terrible. And OMG, did you ever read my lyrics? They are the worst. I have good hair, that is all I got. My fans need me at this time so I had to step up.”
The salon will be a full service salon that only caters to 80’s hair styes. No new fancy cuts or anything, just good old fashioned 1980’s hair metal do’s! There will be a drive through window for quick blow outs and touch ups. Bon Jovi claims that ‘Aqua Net’ hairspray will actually kill the virus, so it is perfectly safe.
When asked for comment, Governor Murphy stated “What salon? Who’s Bon Jovi? I am worried about closing beaches, not Bon Jovi. He is free to do as he pleases.”
