Billy Corgan To Star As Charlie Brown In “Dark” Live Action Movie

Billy Corgan, the frontman of alternative rock band The Smashing Pumpkins, is set to star as none other than the lovable blockhead himself, Charlie Brown, in a new live-action adaptation of the timeless Peanuts gang. In the new film, the gang is all grown up and dealing with very real adult issues. The gripping psychological thriller will be directed by Quentin Tarantino.

Imagine, if you will, Corgan sporting Charlie Brown’s iconic yellow zigzag shirt, his bald head shining in the sunlight like the reflection off Linus’s blanket. Instead of his usual intense stare, Corgan will need to channel Charlie Brown’s perpetual state of existential crisis, wondering why the football always gets yanked away at the last minute and why his kite refuses to fly.

Billy Corgan As Dark Charlie Brown

In the opening scene, Charlie is telling his dark problems to his psychiatrist, Lucy, played by Courtney Love. Still a sociopath, Lucy suggests they go kick the football as they did when they were kids. As Charlie makes his approach to kick the football, Lucy pulls the ball away. However this time Charlie is ready and buries an axe in Lucy’s skull. Charlie Brown is finally sick of Lucy’s bullsh*t and snaps. She tried the old football trick one time too many.

Billy Corgan To Star As Charlie Brown In “Dark” Live Action Movie

A laughing Charlie calls his buddy Linus and they dispose of the body. Linus is played by fellow rocker Marilyn Manson. They wrap the body in Linus’ blanket and thrown it in the swamps of New Jersey. Then they meet up with Pigpen played by Pete Davidson. Pigpen is now a filthy diseased meth head, and as you can imagine, Davidson is perfect for the part.

Charlie then goes out to exact revenge on the old gang. The little red haired girl, Violet and all the rest of them will pay. And boy do they pay. Long story short, Charlie Brown ends up on death row and is locked away like in Silence of the Lambs and is interviewed by authorities.

Also starring in the movie is Margot Robbie as Sally, Kanye West plays Franklin and Ed Sheeran as Schroeder. Peppermint Patty has now embraced her true self and is played by Zach Galifianakis. Even Snoopy is dark and is played by a snarling pit bull while Woodstock is black crow. The movie has been described as The Peanuts meet Taxi Driver, Charlie Brown meets Travis Bickle.