Bill Wyman & Mick Taylor Form New Rolling Stones Band

Former Rolling Stone band members Bill Wyman and Mick Taylor have joined forces and formed their own version of the band. The two ex-Stones have been gathering quite a bit of moss over the years. With their fortunes exhausted, they decided to get back on the stage. 

Wyman is an original member of the band since 1962. He left in 1993 because he developed a fear of flying and listening to Jagger’s BS. Mick Taylor joined the Stones in 1969 after Brian Jones died. A new book reveals that Yoko Ono was the last one to see Jones alive and was overheard inviting Brian to go swimming. Taylor left the band in 1975 after Keith Richards relentless pranks. The final straw was when Keith gave Taylor an atomic wedgie.

Gall Stones

Wyman and Taylor have long since run through their band royalties. Penniless, the duo decided to record new music and tour together under the name,  “The Gall Stones”. “I ran into Taylor in the supermarket” said Wyman. “Literally, I ran into him with my cart and sent him flying. A display of coconuts toppled on him crashing on his head like a cartoon. I visited him later in hospital and we decided to form a band to help pay for his bills.”

Band members include Wyman on Bass and vocals, Taylor on lead guitar and vocals, Marianne Faithfull on lead vocals and Mandy Smith on tambourine. The illegitimate children of Brian Jones will round out the band. “There are at least 300 of them out there” said Taylor. “So far we have managed to find one to play every instrument. We will rotate them. We should have named the band Brian Jones Bastard Kids.”

The Quiet One

The band will play all of the Rolling Stones classics one would expect. The Gall Stones will also play music from Wyman’s solo album, “Monkey Grip” and will feature the only Stones song Bill ever sang lead on, “In Another Land”. “They called me The Quiet One” said Wyman. “I wasn’t quiet, I was just busy banging groupies and too tired to speak. Those sonsofbitches only let me sing on one song but I sing like an angel. This is my band now and I will sing as much as I want. Yeah you too Taylor, you can sing your arse off and solo relentlessly if you want. The Gall Stones are going to be bigger than The Stones could ever wish to be.” 

When reached for comment, Mick Jagger stated, “What the F*ck? Come on Bill, if you need money, I would give you some of Ronnie’s artist money.” The Gall Stones first appearance will be at Mandy Smith’s 21st Birthday party. New music and tour dates to follow. Stay tuned. 

Related Stories: Mick Taylor: Why I Really Left the Stones!