Biden and Trump Compete in Dance-Off

By Claudia Stavola –

President Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden locked horns one last time in an unprecedented dance-off style debate last night.

Video of Trump moving to “YMCA” went viral two weeks ago, so he thought a dance-challenge could finally win the support of suburban women who also have no rhythm. But according to an insider who doesn’t sleep with him but is forced to powder his malabia (man labia) every morning before getting Baron to school, “He vasn’t dancing. He vas trying to unstick his sveaty Kranjska klobasa from his thigh.”

Biden told an MSNFOXBCAARP reporter whose name doesn’t matter because she has enormous tits, “Come on man. I’m from Scranton. I’m not afraid of tripping the light fantastic and all that other malarkey. I have a three-step dance to get this country back on track. It’s called the Frick-Fracking Paddy Whacking Slide. It was really popular when I married Jill.” He then proceeded to demonstrate the Charleston.

At the dance-off, Trump wowed the crowd when he pointed at people while biting his lower lip and offering a limp fist pump. Others joined in while singing the instructions, “You put your droplets in. You clap and shout. Put your droplets in and spread ‘em all about…” The attention then turned back to Biden laying on the floor who looked like he was about to do the worm, but it just turns out he was ready for his nap.

It’s not clear who won the challenge since both are now hospitalized with shattered ankle bones and tachycardia. However, Trump’s tachycardia is said to be “the most beautiful tachycardia ever” and “better than China’s.”