Betty White Buys Second Bottle of Worcestershire Sauce

Actress and international treasure, Betty White, made history today by becoming the only person to ever purchase a second bottle of Worcestershire Sauce.

Betty bought her first bottle of the impossible to pronounce or spell sauce in 1946. “I remember it like it was yesterday” said Ms. White. “It was right after the war – WWII the big one. I just married my first husband and we were setting up house. I was at the grocery store and bought the bottle of Lea & Perrins Worcestershire sauce along with a pound of Chuck Roast, some headache powders, tomato soup, pork & beans and a few other items.”

Worcestershire

Betty continued “I never really used the Worcestershire sauce, but every few decades I would find it in the back of the refrigerator and try a little of it. Then I would realize it tasted like wide open butt, I would stuff it in the rear of the fridge and forget about it. The bottle survived 3 husbands and many moves.”

Worcestershire sauce was created in England by chemists John Wheeley Lea and William Henry Perrins in 1835, and was originally a failure due to its horrendous taste. The pair left the sauce in their chemist basement, came back to it a few years later and had decided to taste it again. To their amazement, they found out that the sauce still tasted like arse but decided to sell it anyway.

“My third husband, Allen Ludden used it a few times over the years” giggled Betty. “He would put it on his porridge and claimed it was an aphrodisiac. I knew it was time to grease Weazer when I saw Allen in the Lea & Perrins. Bea Arthur would do shots of it whenever she came over. She thought it contained alcohol.”

Betty then stated “I pulled the Worcestershire sauce out the other day to put a dab on my braised mutton and it was empty. I was shocked. The bottle lasted 75+ years. I think that was a good investment for 19 cents. I went to the piggly wiggly and did you know it now costs $3.87!? I hope I live to buy a third bottle.”