Bette Midler Charged With Assault For Farting On Crowded Elevator

It appears Bette Midler enjoys farting. Bette Midler recklessly passed gas in a crowded elevator injuring several and causing an entire building to be evacuated.

Midler was in West Virginia to meet with the Governor and apologize for her recent comments against the state. Bette was heading for the elevator in the state building when the doors began closing. Bette began shouting and flailing her arms about to get them to hold the elevator for her. Daniel Nordback held the elevator for the Divine Miss M, much to everyone else’s chagrin.

Bette Midler Enjoys Farting

“We told him to close the doors” said Leslie Mendez. “I knew Bette was going to be trouble and drama. This dummy pushes the buttons and the doors open. Midler comes charging in and pushes all the buttons so we have to stop on every floor. As soon as the doors close and the elevator moves, she rips one. It was loud and horrifying. Then the stench hit. It was like a horror movie, the fog or something. A green cloud slowly filled the elevator. I have never smelled anything like that in my life.”

Bette Midler Charged With Assault For Farting On Crowded Elevator

At this point The odor apparently was unbearable as several people passed out. Victim Karen Bella told Madhouse News “People were screaming and crying. Others were trying to climb out of the elevator but Bette was blocking the doors and would not let anyone leave. She stood there waving the smell at us and laughing maniacally.”

Midler is best known for, well actually we have no idea what she is known for. We think maybe she is a singer or actress but we can’t find anyone who knows a Bette Midler song or who can name a movie she was in. Jeff Cross did however tell us “I know she used to perform in gay bath houses in the city with Barry Manilow.”

Assault By Smell

Finally The entire building was evacuated and police and fire squads gained entry into the elevator using an axe. Three firemen were overcome by fumes and treated on scene. One of the injured victims is in a medically induced coma. Seven other victims are being treated for PTSD. The West Virginia District Attorney stated Miss Midler will be charged with assault by smell. If the health status of any of the victims worsens further charges could be applied.