Balloon Over Western US Was Actually Joy Behar’s Underpants

Reports of a spy balloon spotted over the Western United States turned out to be Joy Behar’s underpants. The giant bloomers blew off Behar’s Colorado balcony and were seen floating over the state. Many residents on high alert after hearing the news of spy balloons over the U.S flooded the police stations with phone calls. Jokesters are now referring to the incident as a UFU sighting, Unidentified Flying Underpants.

As has been noted, Joy Behar is one of the co-hosts of The View. She owns a vacation home in Breckenridge, Colorado. Evidently Joy made a mess in her knickers today and had to wash them out in the sink. She then hung them out on the balcony to dry. Unfortunately it was a very blustery day and the bloomers were blown away. The giant pink granny panties took off into the sky and just kept going.

The Balloon Was Joy Behar’s Underpants

Colorado resident Louise Barnes spotted the underpants over head and immediately called authorities. “I assumed it was another spy balloon” said Barnes. “How the heck was I supposed to know it was Joy Behar’s underpants? They were giant, the size of a spy balloon. After what happened today I was on high alert. Come to think of it now, it was pink with yellow and brown stains. Oh man I think I am going to thrown up.”

Balloon Over Western US Was Actually Joy Behar’s Underpants

At this point Military Jets were able to wrangle the underpants and return them to the rightful owner. Pentagon spokesman Jasper Johns told Madhouse News, “We spotted the underpants and our skilled pilot was able to shoot them down. We did not know what they were at first. Was it a spy balloon, a parachute or what? Then we saw Joy Behar’s name written on the elastic. We then noticed stains and a brown skid mark and put two and two together. Three officers were overcome and treated for PTSD. The offending garment was returned to Miss Behar.”

UFU

“OMG” said Behar. “I am so embarrassed. I am no lightweight, I have a dump truck back there. So after a busy day you can imagine things get quite messy. I have to air the undies out. This is not the first time they took off on me. Usually I anchor them down. The neighbors are not happy having to look at them but hey, what Am I supposed to do?”

Residents in Colorado and Utah spotted the UFU, Unidentified Flying Underpants. Derek Sidoti of Denver was one of the few who called it right away. “As soon as I saw them I knew what it was. I know soiled underpants when I see them. I worked at The Denver Zoo for many years and we used the same brand of undergarments for the baby elephants. There is a zoo supply store that sells them, I am sure Joy Behar buys her undies from there.”