Axl Rose Replaces Steven Tyler as Lead Singer of Aerosmith

In a shocking move, Aerosmith announced today that Axl Rose will be replacing Steven Tyler as lead singer of the band. This move came minutes after the band announced they were retiring from touring because Tyler had injured his vocal cords. An unnamed alleged source implied that Tyler maybe heading back to an alleged rehab, allegedly. Aerosmith will go on.

In the past, Aerosmith had to push back the start of their Las Vegas residency by three months so Steven Tyler can complete a drug treatment program. According to a statement by the band, he had relapsed following surgery to remove a boil on his buttocks. This did not please the band and especially infuriated Joe Perry.

In The Midnight Hour

However, this time, in the midnight hour, Axl Rose came to the rescue. “Axl came swooping in like a knight in shining armor” said Joe Perry. “He came riding across the desert on a fine Arab charger and saved Aerosmith. Now the tour is back on and I don’t have to sell my car. The band is back baby. I got a lot of mouths to feed you know. Eff that sonofabitch Steven, he is probably all hopped up on goofballs again. I have been waiting a long time to replace him with Axl for good.”

Axl Rose Replaces Steven Tyler as Lead Singer of Aerosmith

Axl will step in immediately and has already begun rehearsals with the band. “I am excited” said Rose. “I love these guys, Aerosmith is the first band I ever saw in concert. It was at the Market Square Arena in Indianapolis, 1978. I had first row seats, this was when the band was really a mess, you know the Toxic Twins and all that. Steven was so messed up he ended up vomiting on me, it was the best night of my life. I still have the Aerosmith concert tee with Tyler’s vomit on it. I will cherish that forever.”

Aerosmith this year, started their Walkers & Canes, End of The Road, Adios, Farewell tour with The Black Crowes. After a few performances, Tyler blew out his vocal cords. The tour was postponed and then back on and then off again. But now thanks to Axl, the show will go on as planned.

Have Mic, Will Travel

Axl has become the goto guy for all bands that need a lead singer. Rose has filled in for AC/DC, Heart, Led Zeppelin, N’Sync, Backstreet Boys, The Eagles, Van Halen, Oasis and The Spice Girls. Axl even replaced himself in Guns N’ Roses.