Axl Rose Replaces Band Members with Clones of Himself For Guns n Roses Tour
Guns N’ Roses announced North American dates as part of their epic worldwide stadium tour this summer.
Axl Rose then announced that he fired the entire band because he didn’t want to hear their crap. “Now I can do whatever I want and not have to listen to Duff and Slash bitching at me” said Rose. “The entire band now shows up 4 hours late and no one complains. I love this. I wish we had this technology 30 years ago.”
Clones R Us
Axl had 4 clones of himself made at ‘Clones R Us’ on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. The price was $25K each. Barbra Streisand told Axl about the cloning process. Babs had her dogs and James Brolin cloned at the same Cloning center.
“I had the clones made 7 years ago” said Axl. “They have been tucked away practicing their instruments 12 hours per day. They are finally ready. Now I never have to deal with an annoying opinionated musician again. It will be 24/7 Axl and nothing but Axl. Plus I get to keep all the money. The clones get a small stipend. And the best part is that after every show, they get packed away with the instruments.”
The colossal Guns N’ Roses Clones Tour will steamroll through Toronto, Chicago, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Lisbon, London, Prague and East Rutherford, NJ.
Obsolete
Axl texted the other members of Guns n Roses to tell them their services are no longer needed. The text said “You Are Obsolete. Go Home and Die!”
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