Alex Van Halen Writes New Memoir Titled “F*ck David Lee Roth”

Legendary drummer Alex Van Halen, known for his thunderous beats and rock-solid rhythms in the iconic band Van Halen, has announced the release of his highly anticipated memoir, provocatively titled “F*ck David Lee Roth.” The book promises to peel back the curtain on one of rock’s most infamous feuds. In addition, it will give fans a backstage pass to the drama that unfolded behind the scenes.

Earlier this year, Alex announced that he was releasing a memoir about his brother Eddie Van Halen titled, “Brothers”. “Brothers” can be described as the definitive take on Edward Van Halen’s life and death from the one who knew and loved him best. In addition to that book, Alex will also do a take on his arch nemesis David Lee Roth.

Alex Van Halen Memoir

The announcement sent shockwaves through the music world. Fans were wondering: What could have possibly led Alex Van Halen to publicly declare his disdain for the flamboyant frontman of the band, David Lee Roth? Was it his larger-than-life persona? His penchant for spandex and questionable dance moves? Or perhaps the fact that David now looks like Dr. Smith on Lost in Space?

Alex Van Halen Writes New Memoir Titled “F*ck David Lee Roth”

Alex cleared it up and explained that, “David has been a pain in his arse for 50 years now. He was talking smack about my nephew Wolfie, and made fun of Wolfie and Valerie Bertinelli’s weight. He told Valerie to put on a yellow raincoat and hire herself out as a taxi. Then he said Wolfie was smuggling 300 pounds of crack in his pants. Who says that?”

Alex continued, “All will be revealed. Everything you ever wanted to know about Roth will be exposed. The Brown M&Ms, his love of moth balls, figure skating and amputee porn, the guy is sick and it is about time the world knew it. Eddie hated David and I will detail all of that. I observed David for many years and I took notes. It’s his fault that we never did a tribute concert to Eddie. Basically it’s because he is an insufferable pain in my butt.”

So, whether you’re a die-hard Van Halen fan or just love a good rock ‘n’ roll tell-all, be sure to snag a copy of Alex Van Halen’s “F*ck David Lee Roth” and prepare to be entertained, amused, and maybe even a little shocked by the revelations within. After all, in the world of rock ‘n’ roll, the truth is often stranger than fiction.