Alec Baldwin Pregnant with 26th Child

By Claudia Stavola

Photos of a very pregnant Alec Baldwin hit the internet last week sending entertainment reporters into a frenzy (and everybody else into the bathroom to vomit).

The multi-award-winning actor is married to Hilaria Baldwin whose uterus looks like a block of swiss cheese that got into a sword fight. The couple already manufactured 25 future hot-heads together, but the last time Alec tried to knock up his wife, Gloria Allred’s head popped out of Hilaria’s tattered tweety bird (that’s cute-talk for worn-out vagina) and said, “Look, pal. Enough’s enough! You see what it’s like!”

Baldwin was happy to oblige since he only needed one more kid to complete his dream of having his own fully-rostered baseball team. He also realized he’s lucky to have a wife who can pin her legs behind her head and breathe under 230 pounds of Irish anger. The team will be called the Brawling Baldwins and will only play the Pushy Paparazzi. When speaking with Madhouse, Baldwin said that anybody seen photographing the game, will be run over by an Escalade. When asked how that would be possible on a baseball field, Baldwin strangled the reporter to death, so we never got the answer to that question.

A source close to the couple said that the father-to-be is experiencing such intense cravings that he’s already eaten two of the couple’s other kids. They ran out of room after the twelfth child, so some of the kids are stored in kitchen cupboards. Number 26 is due in late November.