After Eating British Pizza, Billie Joe Armstrong To Remain American Citizen

Green Day frontman, Billie Joe Armstrong, will remain an American citizen. One day after declaring he is leaving the USA and moving to England, Armstrong did a complete 180. In an official statement, Armstrong declared, “After careful consideration, I have decided to remain an American citizen. The pizza in England is god awful and I can’t wait to get back home to the States and have some pizza and bagels.”

The whole saga started when during a recent concert in London, Billie Joe stated, ”I’m renouncing my citizenship and I’m coming here.” Armstrong was shocked by the response of the crowd as most ignored him. Others booed and chanted go home yankee. BJ then chewed off his own testicles and threw them in the crowd when he realized he was not getting the attention he deserves.

Cheddar Cheese on a Biscuit

After that Billie Joe and his entourage went out for some late night pizza in London. “Omg it was terrible” cried Armstrong. “It was so bad I literally almost died. They served me Cheddar Cheese with ketchup on a biscuit and called it Pizza. Then they don’t even have coffee, I have to drink tea.”

After Eating British Pizza, Billie Joe Armstrong To Remain American Citizen

Armstrong then went on a tirade listing everything he hates about the UK. “First of all I think they are speaking English, but I can’t understand a word they are saying. What’s with all of this ‘ello Guvner’, bangers and mash, crisps, chips, biscuits and clotted cream nonsense. I asked for a grilled cheese and they give me something called a Toastie.”

Guns & Pizza

BJ continued, “Don’t even get me started on the weather. It rains like 400 days a year there. I cannot wait to get back to the states and soak up the sun, shoot some guns, eat cheese out of a can and gorge myself on pizza.”

“I want to officially apologize to every single citizen of the USA for my recent comments. Please take me back. I love the United States so much that I want to apply for two citizenships there. Yeah about all that stuff I said, forget that. I was just joshing with you. I have threatened leaving the country every time I don’t get my way. My mom always said I was a spiteful brat. USA, USA, USA.”