49ers QB Brock Purdy Now Dating Lizzo

San FranCisco 49ers Quarterback Brock Purdy is dating pop star Lizzo. In what appears to be a strategic move that would make Sun Tzu envious, these two entities have combined forces to battle the Taylor Swift Travis Kelce media machine. The 49ers will be facing The Chiefs in the Super Bowl Sunday.

49ers Spokesperson Ralph Maratta stated, “Lizzo and Brock Purdy seem like an unlikely pair but you know what they say about opposites attract. Alone, these two entities are nice but when they combine, they create an unstoppable force. Lizzo is now our secret weapon and will bring us a whole new legion of fans. The Chiefs can have their Swifties, but now we have a battalion of Big Grrrls. Heck if we have any injuries we can suit them up and put them on the field.”

Brock Purdy Hearts Lizzo

Purdy and Lizzo have been seen around town together in both San Francisco and Las Vegas. They were seen holding hands in downtown SF dodging homeless and jumping over piles of human excrement. In Vegas they hit every all you can eat buffet. Brock gushed, “I love to watch her eat. She gets after that food like I train for football. It’s inspiring to watch someone indulge in their passion with reckless abandonment.”

Purdy’s fiancee is not happy about the announcement but she is willing to do whatever is necessary to stop the Chiefs. “We all have to make sacrifices” said Purdy. “My fiancee is happy to loan me out for a bit to ensure our win. She just told me like the coaches did, No funny business before the game. A girl like Lizzo is way wilder than anything I am used to and could throw out my back or something. It’s kind of like riding a bull, the injury risk is very high.”

Big Grrrls

Lizzo aka Melissa Jefferson of Detroit seemed to be on a meteoric rise but ran into an unfortunate scandal that derailed her career. She is currently on the comeback trail and what better way to revive a career than to be seen out on the town with the handsome QB of a Super Bowl team. The media has been following the couple everywhere and snapped a photo of them canoodling and sharing a 5 gallon drum of ice cream. They shared the cherry just like Lady and The Tramp.

The media is calling the 49ers latest move, “4D Chess”. As we speak, Lizzo Big Grrls are being bussed in to Vegas. The team has leased cattle cars and livestock carriers to handle the load. Lizzo and her legion of fans are staying at the Nevada ranch of the 49ers owner. Previously, The Chiefs were the favorite to win but after this move the teams seem to be evenly matched.